mtakav8tr's Journal

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

1:21AM - Had A Weird Day I Guess...?

So to start I really fucked up, I miscalculated my paycheck from a week and a half ago and ended up running out of money like a week before my next check, so I am barely afloat right now. I really need to start trying at Melaleuca, Napa isn't paying enough, but if i could just get an income started the discount is so huge it isn't even funny. Not sure I want to talk about girls here...hmm. Well anyways My Best friend Jazon and I hung out for the first time in what seems like forever. I am actually really happy to know that we are still good friends, cuz there for a while it seemed like whenever I would tell him he should come over or even just call him he never wanted to talk or do anything. It also seems like he Never calls me. Like I always have to be the one to call...well one thing at a time I guess. Then again it seems like with just about all of my friends (except for Mike) if I ever want to have anything to do with them, I have to put forth ALL the effort. And usually that is cool with me, but it just seems like no one ever calls me, or asks me to do anything, always me doing it. Maybe I should just stop talking to everyone and isolate myself and see who my friends really are, cuz I wonder wayy too much. Well anyways, really good news on working on my car, I am very happy. I found quite a few things that I can do to make my car look really nice, and quite a few ideas to make my car way more unique than any other celica out there, I am really excited. I really hope that Kelly ends up joining the Navy and getting sworn in. I mean it will really benifit the start of her life, she moved up here from Oregon to get away from the drug scene and everything else and I really think it will help her get a jump start to her life (that and of course cuz she will sell me her snake when she gets shipped out, lol). Well I think my mind has bounced back and forth through enough hall ways tonight, I would have to say, I am off to bed.

Current mood:

blah

Current music: Breaking Benjamin "So Cold"

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Friday, October 1, 2004

11:39PM - Flustered, I guess

Today was a really long day, with work, then coming home for a little while and heading straight over to my dads to finish his truck, I didn't really get Home, until 9:30. It was really cool tho cuz Steven came with me to my dads and helped me finish my dads truck. Then when we got back we grabbed Azaria and went to Red Robin, which was lots of fun, but I have realized I need to do everything I can to avoid Azaria, as bad as that sounds. I really like her, and I need to NOT. She likes Steven and Steven likes her, they are really cute together, and I need to stay out of it. I wish I would stop rushing myself to find a relationship. I know i dont need one, but I get really lonely sometimes, I really dont like it. It is really nice tho, cuz I can help it a little by all the cuddling I get from Kelly, I really like that. She is sleeping in my bed with me tonight because everything else is taken tonight and she wasn't able to get her bed here today, so that will be nice, I always love company. There is another girl that I have liked for quite some time, but never quite developed, we just never have time to hang out. I have been trying to get her to do stuff lately and she wants to, but she will tell me a time she is available and i wont, and then when I am, she is always doing something already. I dont know, I dont get it, people like robbie and steven never try to get girls, they just somehow get attached to them, and me, no matter what I try am always just everybody's best friend, or annoying pest. Well everyone is talking to me online right now and I have lost track of what I was writing, so until next time.

Current mood:

discontent

Current music: The Offspring "Americana"

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Thursday, September 30, 2004

2:59AM

What stupid celebrity are you destined to kill? by daydreamer8852
Name
Birthdate
You killed
With a
On	August 27, 2017

Quiz created with MemeGen!

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Friday, September 24, 2004

8:06PM - Frustrated

I am very flustered right now, my roomate Robbie must want me to kill him or something because he is constantly making fun of me to the point it isn't even funny, I mean at first it wasn't too bad, but now it is all the time, and I mean he does it to everyone else too, I guess it just seems like I am always getting ganged up on. Then things that he would normally get away with around the house, if I do them even just a little bit, he bitches me out to no end. So that is him. Eric used to bug me about how stuck up he could be about things all the time, but I realized I just wasn't used to the way he looked at things and now I kind of admire him for it, it is really cool. And now he is just goofy all the time and making everyone laugh. Dylan is leaving and it really sucks cuz I was hoping to have more dealings with his band and learn the guitar better, and he is just cool to chill with, plus kinda my way to Best Buy related parties and such. Steven I have known for a few years now and it is cool, I wont have any problems living around him now that he is moving in, especially since he claimed to have stop doing drugs and drinking so much, and now that Eric has the new rule of no drinking in the house, I think we can have a lot more recreational fun. Kelly is really cool to hang around, we always get along, she is really affectionate, which is perfect for me, cuz I am too, so can get hugs and closeness without any feelings or anything there, just a family like affection that I really appreciate. So that covers Robbie, Eric, Dylan, Steven and Kelly, the only person missing is Azaria. I have nothing negative in anyway to say about her, which you think would be awesome, except that I cant stand it. She likes Steven, which is totally cool, Steven likes her, still totally cool, but unfortunately somewhere in my messed up brain I have this thing for Azaria. She laughs so much, and I am addicted to her laugh, I tickle and poke her more than I should, but I cant help it, because I am so attracted to her. I keep telling myself not to be, I mean she is about to move into where I live, even if Steven wasn't here and that wasn't happening it still shouldn't happen, but I cant help it, I watch her walking through Carrs and I can stop staring at her ass, she says her chin is off limits to comments because she doesn't like it or something, but with and ass like that and her hair the way it is, I think it makes her look very in control, and that is very sexy. Whenever I am next to her I just want to hug her and hold her. She is a virgin, which is completely perfect for me because I have way too much sex as it is, and would make me realize how much fun you can have without giving into your urges. But I am going way too far in thinking that cuz nothing is ever going to happen. I feel like I am going to cry, I just want someone to hold, and fall asleep with, to pull close and kiss their forhead, and just feel close with, I wish I wasn't so damn picky.

Current mood:

frustrated